Hello y'all, sorry it's taken me a while to write this one up, I've spent most of the summer trying to stop the kids from killing each other, which in hindsight was a bit of a missed opportunity to make some money. I could have had a pretty good racket going if I'd just let...

Hello again everyone. You’re lucky I’m still talking to you now that I’m a proper famous tabloid centrefold what’s been in Chat! The Daily Mail, The Mirror and The Sun. Sadly Phil and Hollie are STILL playing hard to get (c'mon ITV, throw me a frickin' bone here), but I haven’t given up hope. It...

So, this is the one you’ve all been waiting for- the one where I STAY AWAKE DURING SURGERY and I bet you CAN’T WAIT to read all about it. You probably know by now that I’ve also HIT THE BIG TIME and this week my story’s appeared in both The Mirror and The Daily Mail. It...

My goodness, I’ve just realised that it’s been over THREE MONTHS!!! since I published my last hilariously entertaining blog post. You must be missing me terribly, I can only apologise. You would have thought that the thousands of emails that have been sent to me begging for the next instalment would have resulted in me...

Hello everyone! It hurts me to have to tell you this, but sadly the tale of how I Nearly Died is fast drawing to a close and there are only a couple more hilariously entertaining posts left in the series. Believe me, I’m much sadder about this than you are because the money making opportunities that...